“Ladies, y’all alright? Brothas, how y’all feelin?” How’s everybody doing? You can be honest, give the present answer, not the “strong” perceiving answer. I already know we’re all strong, so how are you being in these moments though?
I’ll be honest, I have been experiencing anxiety for the first time, significantly, in my life, over the last 3-4 weeks. I lost my dear uncle, who was like a second father to me, to COVID-19 and all this began to feel more surreal very quickly. It took me talking to someone to identify that that is more than likely what I’ve been experiencing. Whether you lose someone to this pandemic or not, there is grief and trauma many of us may be facing. This time feels uncertain and sends our mind into a tailspin.
How am I addressing it?
I’m not denying it, ignoring over it or suppressing it. I acknowledge how I feel and am honest with myself and others about how I’m feeling. My initial response, when I first became more aware, was to resist it. Then I did something “radical”, I leaned into it. I ALLOWED myself to feel it. You read right, I stopped fighting it. It was uncomfortable but it now feels less and less scary. It isn’t unknown anymore.
I talk to trusted family and friends regularly. We talk about our feelings and we also affirm each other and share things that make each other smile and laugh too. Life is about balance and harmony. It’s possible to smile in the midst of grieving and recommended. I determined positive affirmations to recite daily. I’m taking herbs that help with anxiety like ashwaganda and I’m listening to good feeling music.
I continue to exercise on a schedule and nourish myself regularly with healthy foods, I’m doing self Reiki and meditating multiple times per day now for as long as I need.
I don’t hold back tears. I allow myself to cry freely and as often as I need to.
I remind myself to take long, deep breaths. When we are stressed or anxious, our breath is shallow or we hold our breath a lot. Most times we aren’t aware of this. Just taking dedicated seconds to be still and breathe fully and deeply helps calm the nervous system, bring us present and relax that “fight or flight” feeling anxiety can influence.
The most important thing I have done is have grace with myself. I’ve been compassionate and loving towards myself as I would be towards someone else going through this. I’ve had to release the judgement on feeling this way and allow myself to be where I’m at. This temporary and I will be on the other side of this.
We are spirits having a human experience. We came down here to be able to feel and help each other navigate them together. It’s a gift to be able to feel because it shows me where my spirit needs to be realigned with Divine Source Energy. It’s not always fun but it’s always for my growth and my expansion. This too shall pass and the bigger picture will be revealed, eventually. In the meantime, I am doing my best to listen to what this experience is meant to show me.
I love you all, we are in this together.